My Love Affair with Music

God, my son, food and MUSIC= my great loves

 I never really fancied myself an artistic or creative type person. This being the case, a lot of times I don't have an outlet to express how I'm feeling in a way that does the intensity of whatever emotion I'm feeling justice.That's what music is for me, an extension of what I'm feeling. At times when I'm happy, the music I listen to reflects that, same goes for sadness, determination, times when I feel lost, etc.

Conversely music can touch me in a way that no other art form can, it can tap into my core and stir emotions in me I had suppressed, forgotten, or didn't even know existed. I actually prefer music over television, unless musicals are involved. I'm fairly certain it has a lot to do with my high level of empathy. I'm so easily stirred by things because of that fact, I have a tendency to always put myself in someone's shoes. In a sense, I react as if its happening to me. The passion that is exuded through music reverberates through me, its really such a surreal, exhilarating thing for me. I was telling someone the other day, while I love all genres of music, I have not been able to really connect with jazz, there's not a lot of lyrical content in jazz so there's nothing to connect with for me. Its weird, one jazz CD that I do love is Esperenza Spaulding, she is amazing, she speaks to my musical subconscious. She actually sings in few different languages and despite the fact I don't know what she's saying, I know what she's feeling, what a special thing to be able to do.

I remember being little and watching Aladdin and wishing I had a genie, I always knew what my three wishes would be; first and foremost I wished I could sing like CeCe Winans, Helen Baylor, Amy Grant or the ladies who lead praise and worship at church (I lead a very sheltered Christian childhood, these were my versions of superstars). Now don't get me wrong, I can hold a note or three, but I wanted the gift of being able to touch people with music the way it touched me. I always felt silly for feeling this way, funny thing is, I was having one of many random convos with my mom, and she feels the same way (maybe its genetic, LOL).

So until a big blue genie shows up, I'll still be somewhere singing and dancing along with musicals. If you see me and I'm listening to gospel, I'm feeling lost and looking for solace and guidance. If I'm doing my hardcore hip hop, I'm using in an invincible mood or trying to get there, not letting BS get to me, feeling like I can take on anything. Lovey dovey music...you can ask me who he is but I probably won't tell you, LOL. If Queen Bey is on, there's no telling, her albums could tell my life's story on their own, but my feeling on Beyonce as an icon for black women of my generation is a post for another day.

Music sets the soundtrack to my life and what an eclectic, beautiful body of work its been thus far.

Taking on the Big Apple

Apprehensive about the bitter cold I was about to endure. I overpacked my body bag of a suitcase and boarded  my flight for NYC for a much needed girls weekend. I wasn't originally thrilled at the idea of tackling New York City with the girls in the blistering cold when the original itinerary was supposed to be Las Vegas.

This was the best trip we've taken in a long time. I can't remember the last time I've had that much fun. I have a tendency to feel disconnected from my friends a lot since I can't be around as much as I would like due to my demanding schedule. I have learned in my 30 years of life that ALL relationships require work, not just the ones with significant others but friends and family members (my family is a post for another day, geesh, SMH). 

The great thing about real friends is even if life gets hectic, which is usually does, with real friends, you can pick up right where you left off. There was nothing but laughter and joy and catching up on each others lives. Of course I'm not the only one busy, I have an exceptional group of friends; we are all intelligent, ambitious, loving, and slightly cray cray, LOL, taking over the world is hard work. We can catch up with each other one on one but to get together collectively, sometimes we can go months at a time. As a single mother its so easy to lose your identity and become only defined by your child; fellowship with those who knew and loved you before you took on that role helps to keep one from feeling like you no longer exist as a person but only a facilitator from someone's life. I don't take anything away from motherhood, its one of the greatest joy's in life but it feels good to be Jenara sometimes, not just Tylen's mom. I never wanna feel like I lose sight of who "Jenara" is, and weekend's like this past one helps in that. 

Now that the battery's recharged, back to our regularly scheduled program. Well not before a few pics: 

Made everyone suffer because I wanted to go to the Financial District (that's the NYSE behind me) Note my flyy flat twist out (couldn't tell me nothin)

Me and the girls in Times Square

Heading out to more clubs than I can remember :P

My first trip to Chipotle, had the Steak Burrito Bowl...Moe's is in trouble if they ever come here

The best pizza and Baked Ziti I've ever had in my life, thank you for existing Pizza Rustica